wow. 2 weeks ago this time i was sitting in the worship center at the ywam base eating ice cream and watching the office with Lena, a good friend whom i miss dearly. It's crazy how fast these past 5 months have flown by and i feel thats something i'm gunna be saying for the rest of my life. So as i've been thinking back on what the heck happened over these last few months I have been trying to find words to describe it and i've got a few.
This word describes the whole experience but most specifically my time on outreach in colombia. There were times where i just didn't feel like continuing. I was exhausted both physically and emotionally. Some mornings i would wake up earlier than i wanted to and just lay in bed thinking, how am i going to make it through today without either breaking down or snapping at someone. So i would go to God and say, well you're gunna have to carry today. This happened a lot. And every single time God did just that. It was amazing. I would find myself at the end of the day thinking how the heck did i just pull through today? And it was only by God's grace i made. God had no reason to respond to my calls i mean there were many times that i was frustrated and angry at God. But he was always there, just waiting for me to drop all the stuff i was carrying, so that he could take for me.
God reawakened a lot of passion in me. He started it during lecture phase and continued through outreach. Its a passion for a reawakening of what it looks like to follow God with everything i have and to see the church discover that same passion. I was able to witness this beginning to happen in Colombia. The youth there are digging in deep and they have a lot of fire for their country. They want revival to come and its definitely coming. Its a contagious thing and i just pray it will continue to spread not only within Colombia but to other nations.
One thing that God has really shown me while looking back on the 5 months is why this short time was so powerful. I've been trying to figure out why I was able to form such good relationships in such a short time. I only was with some of my good friends for 3 months because they went on a different outreach but I still formed such solid friendships. It was because we were all pursuing one goal: a closer relationship with God. We all wanted our own personal relationships with God to grow deeper. For a few short months we were able to solely focus on that and it led to eternal reward. I heard a quote and i'm not sure who it was by but it kinda helps explain what i'm trying to say: if you aim for heaven you get earth thrown in but if you only aim for earth thats all your gunna get (thats a paraphrased version). So it was in our pursuit of God that we grew closer. If we would have just focused on getting to know each other we really wouldn't have gotten very far. It's so awesome that I was able to be apart of something like this. I can't thank my dts staff as well as my dts itself for putting God first in our time together. It's what made it so amazing and life changing.
This was a defining word for me. Its what God chose to call me during the whole experience and its what I'm going to carry with me for the rest of my life. God showed me just how crazy he is about me and it was life changing. Theres no other way to describe it. He also showed me love through the new friendships I made. I will never forget all the love they showed me and thats what made goodbyes so stinkin hard.
So i think thats it for now. If i think of anything else i will be sure to post it :). Thank you all again for all your prayers. They helped ways i don't even know.